


The Wedding

by costumepartyfiction



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alcohol, Drinking, Implied Amethyst/Pearl (Steven Universe), Implied Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe), Other, Weddings, connverse - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-04-06 13:02:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14057547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/costumepartyfiction/pseuds/costumepartyfiction
Summary: Steven and Connie are getting married ten years after the (current) events of the show. The wedding has to be perfect!! But wait?? Why is Pearl singing loud karaoke?





	The Wedding

**Author's Note:**

> Based on wedding headcanons/drinking headcanons the Lapidot discord came up with months ago. I hope you enjoy. This is very silly and not meant to be taken too seriously. 
> 
> Not totally satisfied with the ending so feel free to give me feedback. Again, it's meant to be silly. 
> 
> Have fun!

Lapis had Peridot in a death snuggle and was glaring daggers at the amethyst who had tried to flirt with the green gem. Pearl was singing karaoke loudly to “Never Gonna Give You Up”. Greg was in a passionate debate with Uncle Andy about immigration rights. Garnet had unfused and Ruby was alternating between sobbing and yelling while Sapphire was in a fit of the giggles. Amethyst, and the entire Famethyst, were cheering on Jasper who was chugging keg after keg of beer. Bismuth was attempting to turn an empty liquor bottle into a sword. Padparascha was passed out next to Mr. Smiley and Rhodonite looked as calm as anyone had ever seen her. Topaz had also unfused and both Topazes were looking at each other lovingly and occasionally rubbing noses, while Aquamarine, who had already eaten all of the chicken wings at the buffet, was loudly telling them to stop so she could finish her salad. Jenny Pizza was dancing on a table while her twin Kiki cried about being too drunk and how she was supposed to the “responsible one”. Buck Dewey was attempting to console Kiki. Fluorite had disappeared hours ago, presumably to be alone with herself. Almost everyone else was still drinking, dancing, or gearing up to watch something t

hey never expected to see.   
Connie was astride Lion while Sadie rolled her sleeves up. Connie held Rose Quartz’s sword and, though she was pretty wobbly, she glared at Sadie with a ferocity that she rarely showed friends, though it could be supposed that in this moment, Sadie was not Connie’s friend.   
Lars was telling Sadie how lovely she looked and slurred something about kicking Connie’s ass. Steven stood there looking at his bride, frantically trying to figure out how the hell they’d gotten in this situation.

  
1 month earlier

Wedding Countdown, 1 month:

“Pearl the wedding is in ONE MONTH!” Steven chastised. “We can’t make any significant changes now!”   
“I know Steven, but Uncle Andy told Greg that all the best weddings have open bars at the reception! Obviously your wedding to Connie has to have everything all the best weddings have because your wedding is already better than most! Because it’s you and Connie!” Pearl said, waving her long hands around dramatically.

Steven sighed and rubbed his temple. He should have known better than to make Pearl his wedding planner. Sure, she was organized and got things done but she knew little about human weddings AND had a flair for the dramatic. Connie had been forced to talk her out of *ice sculptures*! (Though if he was being honest, Steven would have liked the ice sculptures).

“Steven, you and I agreed that the wedding had to be perfect! So it’s an open bar or nothing!” Pearl commanded.

Steven sighed. Even though he was twenty-five Pearl still occasionally treated him like a teenager. It would be fine most of the time but this time…

“Can gems even drink alcohol?” Steven wondered out loud.

Pearl nodded emphatically.

“Of course we can, and we can alter our physical forms to be affected by it too!”  
  
“Ok fine, I guess we can make room in the budget for an open bar. It’s not like it matters much since Dad’s paying for it.”

“I’m glad you see it my way Steven! Open bar it is! Isn’t Jamie bartending now? Oh I can’t *wait* tell Amethyst! And Connie of course since it’s her wedding too. Pearl walked off into her temple room scribbling on a pad and still yammering about bars and bartenders.

Steven sighed….he hoped Connie was having better luck dress shopping with Amethyst and her "sisters”.

How had she gotten herself into this?

Connie looked at the monstrosity of a dress she’d been coerced into trying on. Amethyst was barely holding back a snicker. 8XJ was toying with her curly hair, pretending not to be holding back tears. Of laughter, joy, or something else Connie wasn’t sure.   
The rest of the Amethysts were busy tearing through more monstrous dresses much to the distress of the shop owner. Skinny Jasper and Carnelian were still lacing up the current one. It was Jasper who finally voiced an opinion. “That dress is stupid! Completely impractical for fighting!”

“Big J,” Amethyst said, addressing the taller quartz, “It’s a *wedding dress*. It’s not supposed to be practical!”

“ I do kind of hate this one though,” Connie admitted. “I can tolerate impractical to a point. But this one looks like something out of a cartoon princess movie. Really not my style.”

“See?” Jasper snarled at Amethyst. “Connie hates it too.”

“I appreciate you all coming along with me and all, especially since you didn’t have too since Lapis and Peridot are my bridesmaids but maybe *I* could pick out the next one? It is my wedding dress after all.”

The Famethyst and Jasper went quiet. Amethyst just smirked and said, “Ok, bridezilla! Pick out your own dress!”

Connie just rolled her eyes at Amethyst’s hijinks. Bridezilla was the *last* word anyone would use to describe her. Steven on the other hand…she smiled a little. Steven had been even more stressed than Pearl over the whole wedding thing. Of course, he’d had his own wedding planned since he was little but there were significantly more gems to include now.

Connie browsed the rack of dresses feeling the eyes of the quartzes on her back. How she’d end up stuck dress shopping with a bunch of rowdy quartz soldiers she wasn’t sure, other than that her actual bridesmaids were busy with “a special wedding morp”, whatever that meant, and her mom was working.

These dresses also really weren’t her thing. Despite the fact that a fight a her wedding was unlikely, unless Lapis and Aquamarine decided to throw-down *again*, she was inclined to agree with Jasper that wedding dresses were horribly impractical garments with little to no functionality.   
Finally, her eyes settled on a simple gown. It was just below the knee, with a simple sheer overlay on top of a simpler under gown. The skirt was a-line, with enough fluff to make it seem like a beautiful wedding gown, but not so much that it was ridiculous. The top was three-quarter sleeved sheer lace, overlaying the simple white undergown. It was completely not flashy, she’d be able to move in it and it was pretty enough that Steven would like it. *Please have my size!* she thought. Connie rifled through the sizes, then, yes! She pulled out her size.

“This one!” She pulled it out and showed her dress shopping entourage. Skinny clapped and Jasper declared, “That one is significantly more practical in the event of combat”

She went into the dressing room to try it on. Significantly easier than the previous gown. Just a simple zipper and a hook and eye.

She stepped out.

All of the quartzes clapped this time. Amethyst wolf whistled. “It’s so you kiddo!”

Connie blushed. She wasn’t one for getting dressed up very often but she had to admit it was nice every once and a while. Besides, a wedding should be special right?“

Wedding Countdown: 3 weeks.

Steven sat at the breakfast bar in the temple and poured over the RSVPS one more time. He was pretty sure everyone had sent theirs back in but he wanted to be sure. He had to make sure everyone’s meals were taken care of, the seating arranged properly, and that Pearl’s damn open bar had enough liquor to satisfy a small army of gems and an entire town.

"Mr. Smiley, The Pizzas, Sour Cream, Mr. Dewey, Buck Dewey, Lars and Sadie…”  
Steven poured over all of them, saying each name out loud to be sure he had them.

“Steven,” a calm voice said behind him. He jumped. “Sorry Steven, I did not mean to startle you,” Garnet said, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I just wanted to tell you that you definitely have an RSVP for everyone, and your seating chart is perfectly fine. Also, the Maheswarens are the only ones who got the vegetarian option.”

Steven sighed. “I know, Garnet I just…”  
“Want everything to be perfect, I know. I just want you to know, that in every future I see of your wedding it IS perfect.”

“Every single one?”

“Of course. Because your wedding to Connie is like my fusion, made. of. LOVE! And it’s impossible for anything to make it less than perfect.”

Steven smiled. It was actually pretty reassuring put that way.

“Thanks Garnet.”

Garnet smiled. “Of course, Steven. Now get some rest. You are getting married in 3 weeks after all.”

Steven yawned. It was pretty exhausting doing all of this work. He trudged up the stairs to his old bed. He figured Connie would understand if he crashed at the Temple instead of going back to their apartment in town. He texted her just to let her know, and then quickly drifted off to sleep.

Wedding Countdown: 2 weeks, 6 days.

Connie woke up alone in her bed the next morning. Steven had texted her last night saying he was crashing at the temple. It was fine, but he was working himself to the bone over every little detail. It wasn’t like him and she’d barely seen him. With the wedding so close and Steven still stressing about details… Oh well, he’d be fine. She was meeting Lapis and Peridot today for their proposed “super secret wedding meep morp extravaganza!”

Her phone buzzed. Peridot was video calling her. She answered sleepily still in her pajamas.  
“Hey guys,” she yawned.

“Hey Crystal Temp partner!” the small green gem greeted her. “When are you coming to the barn for your super secret wedding meep morp extravaganza?”   
“Her name, not mine!” Lapis said, gently nudging her partner out of the way. “We would like to know when you were coming over.”   
Connie opened her mouth to speak but Peridot interrupted,   
“Obviously we are prepared for you to arrive at our place of residence at any time, however, given that humans are typically prone to adhering to ridged schedules, we completely understand your reluctance to come over right away, and will be more than pleased to accommodate your preferences.”

“She’s just really excited about your wedding morp,” Lapis explained.   
“Lapis! It’s the Super Secret Wedding Meep Morp Extravaganza!” Peridot corrected. “At LEAST call it the S.S.W.M.M.E., like we discussed?”

Lapis opened her mouth to tease Peridot but Connie was finally awake enough to interrupt. “I’m not doing anything else until later. Steven and I are looking over the seating chart today and going out for dinner,” she said. “I can come over as soon I get dressed.”

Peridot grinned widely. “Of course! Change your human garments and behold our most ingenious meep morp of all time! Nyeheheheheh!”

Connie smiled. “Bye Peridot, bye Lapis! I’ll see you soon!”

Peridot was still excitedly ranting about how excellent the S.S.W.M.M.E was, so Lapis was the one who signed off, “Bye Connie! We’ll see you soon!”

*click* The chat ended. Connie went to get ready, smiling about her friends. She was lucky she’d gotten close to them both.

About 45 minutes later, Connie arrived with Lion at the warp pad near the barn.

“Connie! Hey Connie!” Peridot was excitedly waving her down. She dismounted Lion and gave him a Lion Licker just to be sure he’d stay.   
“Connie Maheswaran, nyeh, are you prepared for the greatest meep morp ever designed by Lapidot Incorporated?” the small green gem asked theatrically.

“Lapidot Inc.?” Connie couldn’t help but ask.

“The name for our meep morp studio Lapis and I came up with. It’s my name and Lapis’ names mushed together, like a fusion!” Peridot explained. “It was Lapis’s idea.”

Connie laughed. “Ok Peridot, take me to this super morp!”

“Ahem, Super Secret Wedding Meep Morp Extravaganza!” Peridot corrected.

“So where’s Lapis?” Connie asked as they walked down toward the barn.

“Putting final touches on the S.S.W.M.M.E,” Peridot said. “She’s pretty excited about it, maybe even more excited than me, though I sincerely doubt it!”   
  
The entered the barn, and Peridot gestured dramatically as Lapis walked in holding something covered by a blanket. Their little pumpkin dog, still living and lively after ten years, followed at her blue mom’s heals, barking excitedly.  
“Behold!” Peridot said, doing another dramatic gesture. “Our meepmorpistic genius!”

Lapis removed the cover. Inside was what appeared to be a wedding bouquet, but it wasn’t flowers. The flowers appeared to be made of a paper-thin metal that was painted to look like pink roses and white lilies. In between some of the flowers were clear balls filled with liquid that moved constantly, and it was all wrapped up in another pink sheet of metal, with a white bow. There was was an engraving that read “Steven Universe and Connie Maheswaran” and had their wedding date below it. The two artistic gems had engraved the words, “Jam Buds: Til Death Do Us Part”. They’d painted Steven’s shield and Rose’s sword crossed over it, with a star in the background. They’d also painted a tiny biscuit covered in red jam. Connie felt tears in her eyes.   
“Obviously you probably shouldn’t throw this one at your actual wedding,” Lapis explained. “But flowers just die, this will never die. Even the water in the globes will keep moving! We thought maybe you could use it as a centerpiece or something.”

Peridot was suddenly humble, almost sheepish, “Do you…like it?”

Connie grinned at the green gem and her blue companion. “Of course I like it! I more than like it! It’s so thoughtful and beautiful, I can’t wait to show it to Steven!”

Peridot and Lapis looked at each other and grinned. “We’re so glad you like it!” Peridot exclaimed. She hugged Connie gleefully. Lapis smiled at her partner’s antics. “I’m glad you like it too,” she said.

Connie really did feel lucky to have made such good friends with these two.

Wedding Countdown: 1 week, 2 days.

“Steven! What do you mean, Fish Stew Pizza is not catering your wedding?” Kofi demanded.

“Calm down Daddy,” Jenny told her father while she took Renaldo’s order. “It’s a wedding, nobody gets pizza for weddings!”

“Sorry Kofi, Pearl said the same thing as Jenny and she takes her wedding planner role extremely seriously,” Steven explained. “Actually, speaking of Pearl…she and Connie should have been here by now.

As if on cue his dad’s Dondai screeched onto the boardwalk in front of Fish Stew Pizza.

Pearl stepped out of the driver’s seat looking a bit frazzled. Connie got out of the passenger seat and grinned at her fiancé.

"Sorry we’re late, Steven,” Pearl said. “I ended up running a few errands.”   
Steven gulped. Errands? Now what? She’d gotten a bit obsessed with the idea of an open bar.   
“Don’t worry, it had nothing to do with the *openway arbay*,” Connie murmured to Steven.

“Oodgay” Steven replied winking at his bride-to-be. Connie smiled at him and Steven felt his heart leap. He’d never be over the way she smiled at him. Never.

“Alright, enough whispered conversations in Pig Latin you lovebirds, we have a caterer to reserve!” Pearl announced and shoved them toward the car.

They’d been in the car for a few hours en route to Empire City. Steven was sure a phone call to the caterer would have been fine. Connie even mentioned it. Pearl, however, had decided that they should do it in person. Neither of them dared to argue with her at this point. She’d all ready rented seating, an outdoor aisle, an archway on a small platform, ordered all of the decorations, and helped Lapis and Peridot create a stand for their meep morp so that it could be used as a center piece. She’d also booked a local florist and demanded a bouquet that matched said morp, as well as similar flowers for each individual table. She’d even tried to book a band, before Steven had stepped in, pointing out that Sour Cream had already agreed to DJ the reception and he and Connie had worked with the DJ to created a more personalized remix of the wedding march. She was in full-blown last minute touches mode and Steven and Connie were helpless to stop her.

They finally arrived at the caterer’s restaurant. Pearl neatly parked the Dondai and beckoned for Steven and Connie to follow her.

They’d arrived in the middle of the dinner rush. A frazzled looking maître d’ seemed to recognize Pearl though, because his eyes widened when she entered and he grabbed a nervous waitress, whispered in her ear, and she ran off, presumably to get the chef.  
“Hello again, Miss Pearl,” the maître d’ said, a hint of exasperation in his voice. “I take it the young couple behind you are the bride and groom?”   
“Oh please, Jeffery, just Pearl is perfectly fine, I’m thousands of years old, I’m hardly a miss.” Pearl retorted, equally exasperated.  
Jeffery rolled his eyes.  
“Have a seat *Pearl* and the chef will be out shortly. It *is* our dinner rush so as you can no doubt tell, we are quiet busy!”   
The phone rang and the very agitated Jeffery answered. Steven felt bad for the guy. Pearl was being a little bit….extra.

The chef arrived, almost as annoyed as Jeffery, but her face lightened when she saw Steven. They’d met previously at the tasting Pearl had refused to attend, despite arranging it. “Here to book us, kid?” she teased. Steven opened his mouth to respond but Pearl interrupted. “Oh yes! The wedding is in one week and two days, so I assume that’s perfectly acceptable? Also, we need 4 vegetarians, Connie’s grandparents are showing up last minute. Please ignore Andy’s request for "meat only”, I absolutely insist on feeding that man vegetables, doesn’t he realize human beings need vegetable nutrients?“   
"Pearl, hon, please calm down. I just need the numbers, not the details,” The chef insisted. “Also are you still getting the full open bar option?”   
Steven groaned. He’d forgotten that this particular caterer was not only his and Connie’s favorite but also Pearl’s for one reason: the fact that they had a portable bar that was fully stocked and trained bartenders as well as access to additional alcohol stock from the restaurant. His dad had also sworn profusely when Pearl gave him the bill. He still had plenty of money from his hit commercial royalties and a local car dealership had bought the rights to “Let Me Drive Your Van Into My Heart” for another commercial, so it wasn’t out of his means, it was just…a lot of money, as Greg had said.

“Of course! Only the best for my Steven!” Pearl answered, a little too enthusiastically.  
Connie and Steven exchanged worried glances. Pearl was more than a little obsessed with the mere idea of an open bar. The stars only knew what she’d actually do with one.

The chef nodded, and took the totals from Connie. Their guest list was pretty large considering the number of gems Steven had managed to befriend and the fact that he’d invited all of Beach City and every single one of them had RSVP’d. The chef just smiled, she was sweet, but she was probably also seeing dollar signs. “Great, see ya in a week Mr and Mrs. Universe!”   
“Actually…” Connie started, about to protest that she was keeping her last name and that taking her husbands name was an antiquated tradition that implied that a wife was property. She shut her mouth when she saw Steven’s face.  
“A week and two days!” Pearl exclaimed.   
“I know, I have the date, calm down Pearly,” the chef calmly replied with a wink at Steven and Connie.

If Pearl kept this up…it was going to be a long week and two days.

Wedding Countdown: 2 days, Rehearsal

Pearl’s obsessive planning had…paid off actually. Connie thought the beach wedding Pearl had put together was absolutely stunning. The decor was simple and elegant, but also very romantic. Very “Connie and Steven.” There was plenty of seating, but Pearl hadn’t gone overboard like she’d feared.  
The arc was decorated in the same roses and lilies as the bouquet and Pearl and Greg had even helped Sour Cream set up the sound equipment for the ceremony.

“Ok, now when the music changes to "We Are The Crystal Gems”, Connie, you enter with your parents!“ Pearl instructed. Connie snapped back to reality. Oh yeah…rehearsal.

"Excellent Connie! Ok, Dr. Maheswaran stands here, Lapis, you’re here, Peridot is here and I’ll be up near Connie as her Maid of Honor. Connie, come up in front of Steven, like this, yes. Now, Greg, who is best man, is also officiating, so Lars…who…is also best man…has the rings. Amethyst, who is also best…man… Lars will hand the rings to you, good! Amethyst hands the rings to Garnet, who is…also best man…who hands the rings to…umph…Lion….who is best…lion… "hands” the rings to Steven…Can we please skip Lion?“

"But Pearl!” Steven protested. “He’s best Lion! And he’s practiced, look!”

Lion huffed. Connie raised her eyebrows at him and he huffed again but gently took the fake ring box from Garnet with his teeth. Steven took the empty box.

Pearl sighed, “Ok, *fine* but if he drops the rings and ruins your wedding, don’t blame me!”

Steven grinned. Connie grinned back. Her fiancé was adorable and she was so lucky.

“Ok…rings on fingers…Greg does the whole dearly beloved thing, blah blah blah vows blah dee blah kiss the bride! And smooch! Excellent!”

“That was…quite and efficient rehearsal Pearl,” Connie’s mother complimented her daughter’s mentor a few hours later at the rehearsal dinner.

“Oh thank you, it really was nothing!” Pearl demurred, blushing a little at the rare compliment from Connie’s stern mother.   
Connie grinned. She enjoyed that Pearl was friends with her mom. It had taken a while for them to get used to each other, but her biological family and her soon to be family-in-law really did get along pretty well.

Steven had appeased Kofi Pizza by getting Fish Stew Pizza for the rehearsal dinner. Connie’s parents had balked a little at fatty pizza, but Connie had made sure there was a lower calorie option, and it was at least local. Pearl of course wasn’t eating. Amethyst appeared to be eating the boxes, Peridot didn’t eat either but she was cutting up her pizza into bit sized bits and feeding them to Lapis, who could actually eat as much as Amethyst. Greg was talking animatedly with Lars and with Sadie, who was invited to the dinner despite not being in the wedding party, about something. All in all it was pretty relaxed. Connie decided worrying about the upcoming ceremony wasn’t worth it, even if Pearl did keep going on about that open bar. What could possibly go wrong?

Wedding Countdown: 4 hours, Day of the Wedding.

Steven paced in front of the temple. The wedding was taking place on the beach below, exactly where Steven and Connie had first met. Or really close to it. Steven smiled at the memory. He’d relived the moment when he decided to propose, asking her with a glow bracelet in the same place. She’d refused to let him get her a real engagement ring and instead wore the bracelet for their entire engagement. She was even wearing it with her wedding dress.   
4 hours to go…  
By the stars he was so lucky. Connie was, and had always been, amazing. She was his partner in everything and he was so amazed that they’d gotten here. He sincerely hoped that everything was going to be perfect. Connie deserved the absolute best.

Wedding Countdown: 2 Hours  
Connie fidgeted. Her mother and Pearl had been fusing over her hair for an *hour*.   
“Connie, sit still!” Her mom ordered. Priyanka was being almost as fussy as Pearl and significantly less anxious. Connie could hear Pearl’s panicked muttering, which seemed to be about her hair being asymmetrical.   
“Sorry Mom, I’m just nervous,” Connie explained. Pearl was not helping  
“Of course you are, dear. Everything will be fine,” her mom said, seeming to direct the last part at Pearl.  
“What if I forgot a seat? Oh, what if Jasper starts a fight with Lapis or Aquamarine? Or Holly Blue? What if Amethyst eats the cake before you and Steven can cut it? What if Steven’s ridiculous best Lion idea backfires? What if…?”   
Priyanka and Connie exchanged an eyeroll as the elder Maheswaran woman cut Pearl off. “Pearl, none of that is going to happen. Why don’t you go check on Lapis and Peridot and make sure the dresses work for them? And before you say anything, I KNOW they’re gems and it should be no problem for them to alter their forum enough to fit, but you know Peridot can’t shapeshift and Lapis might just decide not to bother.”

Pearl closed her mouth and seemed to think about this. “Yes of course…I will see to them-” Pearl wandered off, still in the midst of an anxiety attack, but at least she’s wasn’t breathing down Connie’s neck anymore.

“Alright, Connie, about your hair,” Priyanka began.   
“Mom, it’s fine, really!” Connie protested. “I think it looks great!”   
The up-do really was fantastic. Connie’s thick hair so rarely cooperated but Pearl and her mother had managed to give it several large curls all twisted up on top of her head. She usually didn’t prefer to compare herself to princesses since princesses were generally viewed as the weak and helpless damsels in distress and she was no damsel, but she had to admit there was something extremely royal and dignified about the way she looked right now. Her makeup had been done by Blue and Yellow Pearl and it was gorgeous. Steven was likely to die when he saw her. Or at least cry. There was no way Steven was making it through this wedding tear free.

“It needs something,” Priyanka said, business as usual. She rummaged through a bag of hair clips and pulled out a clip adorned with a cut, regular earth, rose quartz gem. Connie gasped.   
“Perfect!” Priyanka declared, fixing it to her daughter’s hair.

Connie struggled not to cry. She’d just gotten her makeup done after all. Her mother, usually pretty stoic, had no such reservations. Her eyes streamed and she wrapped her daughter in a hug. “I love you Connie,” she said, “I know I haven’t always been the best at showing it but I love you so much.”   
“I love you too, Mom,” Connie said.

She really hoped Blue Pearl had gotten waterproof makeup.

Wedding Countdown 5 minutes

Steven was at the altar. Honestly it felt like a dream, and he pinched himself a little to reassure himself it was real. The guests were all seated, the weather was lovely and no one was fighting, or arguing. His wedding really was going to be perfect. He’d even talked his dad out of a tuxedo tshirt and Greg was wearing a real suit. Garnet pulled her sunglasses down enough to wink at him. Steven grinned in-spite of himself. Garnet had been right. His wedding would be perfect no matter what.

The music started. Instrumental of the classic wedding march. Peridot came in first, followed by Lapis, who had her eyes glued to Peridot’s….well let’s just say she was following Peridot closely…, Pearl entered next and the music transitioned to the mix of “We are the Crystal Gems” Greg had helped Steven compose for the wedding. Steven’s breath caught as Connie entered on the arm of both of her parents. It was all Steven could do not to cry as soon as he saw her. She looked absolutely breathtaking. She was always beautiful but the dress, lovely and dainty but still shorter and far easier to move in, down to the shoes, also exceptionally practical, and back up to her hair, was stunning. He caught her eyes and couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. He wept openly, his partner, friend, comrade, and soon to be wife was coming toward him and he was absolutely enthralled with everything about her.   
She’d joined him at the altar before realized and Greg was proceeding with the introduction, and then it was time for the vows. Steven’s voice hitched a little before he spoke but he managed to snap back to reality in order to deliver his vows.   
“Connie, when I first saw you, I thought you were incredible. I was more right than I knew. Even through getting trapped in a bubble and Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl messing with my funky flow, you still became my good friend, my first fusion, my partner. All I wanna do is spend the rest of my life with you, my jam bud, the strawberry to my biscuit, and I promise to stick by you the rest of our lives just as we’ve always stuck by each other and supported each other. You’re my best friend, and I love you Connie Maheswaren!”   
Pearl began to loudly bawl. Amethyst and Garnet were grinning hugely, Peridot was coughing into her hand with obvious tears forming, and even Lapis looked like she was about to cry.  
“Steven Quartz Universe. I should have known you’d write long sappy vows. Makes mine look pitiful in comparison but here I go. JAM BUDS FOREVER!” Connie recited. Everyone laughed.   
The best man, gems, and lion passed the rings to Steven who mechanically put one on Connie as she put one on him.   
“You may now kiss the bride,” Greg said, and Steven started to lean in but Connie grabbed him and dipped him to loud whoops from the guests and wedding party. Amethyst shouted “Get it!” and the Famethyst seconded it. Something glowed pink and Stevonnie looked around as the guests cheered louder. “Oops!” They said, and unfused, both Steven and Connie blushing furiously. Garnet gave Steven a thumbs up and he grinned. She’d been right. The wedding ceremony had been perfect.

Wedding Day: Reception

Connie and Steven somehow finished the first dance without accidentally fusing, and everything was going great. The guests were having a blast, and everyone seemed really pleased with the open bar they’d sprung for. Connie had to admit that there was little that could go wrong at this point. Steven had been giddy since the ceremony and kept loudly talking about “his wife” and introducing her to everyone as such. It was honestly adorable.   
Pearl had already been hitting the bar, her anxiety about everything finally coming to a head. But everyone else was showing some restraint so perhaps she should join in too, can’t really have fun until the bride joins in, right?

  
Reception:

Steven gasped at the chaos around him. What had started as perfect had soon deteriorated into drunken calamity.   
Pearl was loudly singing, “We’re no strangers to loooove…”

“Back off 8XJ, shessssh miiinnne,” Lapis was snarling at 8XJ as she continued to snuggle Peridot. Peridot looked a little greener than usual.

“You know the rules, and SOOO DO I!”

“CHUG CHUG CHUG!” The Amethysts chanted as Jasper chugged keg after keg of beer.

“A full commitment’s what I’m thinking of… ”

“Honestly, Topazes, right in front of my salad?!?” Aquamarine’s indignant voice floated over from the food bar.

“You wouldn’t get this from any other GAL!”

  
“Sapphire! Ittsssss not FUNNNY!” Ruby shouted. Sapphire apparently disagreed and was cracking up laughing.

“Iiiiii just wanna tell you how I’m feeelin”

Padparascha briefly sat up. “I predict I will pass out and briefly wake up!”

“But I’m the responsible oooonnne!” Kiki Pizza wailed.   
“Sometimes, even the responsible ones need a break,” Buck consoled her.

“Gotta make you, uuunderstaaaaand!”

Steven looked around frantically for Connie. The gems and humans a like we’re out of control and he didn’t want something to happen to her.

“Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run aroooound and HURT YOOU!

Steven tuned out Pearl’s karaoke and finally spotted Connie, talking…no, arguing…with Sadie.

"Oh please, your vows were lame” Sadie was slurring.   
“Take that back!!!” Connie shouted.

Uh oh…

“Connie!” Steven yelled.  
She was attracting a crowd as she saddled Lion and pulled Rose’s sword out of his mane. She looked like a warrior goddess, her hair beginning to fall out of its up do and wearing a wedding dress astride a pink lion. Sadie began rolling up her sleeves.  
“Kick her ass, babe, you look great!” Lars yelled to Sadie.

Steven groaned. He had to stop this before it got out of hand…

“Connie, wait! I know you’ve all had a lot to drink but Sadie is our friend! And a petty fight isn’t like you!”

Connie looked at him and her gaze softened, then hardened.   
“Sorry Steven but she insulted our perfect weddingggg! I have to!”

“No you don….” Steven began. Then he saw Connie sway. He leaped and caught her just as she was about to hit the ground. She blinked.   
“Guess we better call it a night huh?” She said.

“Yep. Good thing I’m sober and can drive us home.”

His wife grinned at him sheepishly.   
“No more open bar weddings?”  
Steven nodded. “Never again!” He promised his wife.

Three Weeks Later:

“And that’s why Amethyst and I have decided to get married!” Pearl declared. Steven and Connie sat open mouthed. What in the world had made the gems decide to hold another open bar wedding reception? And not only that…it was the *entire* reason they were getting married!   
Steven looked at Garnet for help but she shrugged. “I had fun.”

It was going to be a looooooong year

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to the Lapidot Discord! You guys are fantastic and I am so inspired by you. <3 Keep on being amazing


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